I'm getting...

a little nervous. I go in to have carpal tunnel surgery at six in the morning and I'm getting a little nervous. Trying to figure out how I'm still going to be able to get stuff done with just one hand. I don't want to just do nothing while I am home. I still want to be productive. As productive as I can be. (You should see Hiney smile when I say that. he said, "I was hoping you would say that.") here's to hoping I calm down pretty soon.

I just thought of something. Ihave library books to return that are overdue. Better go.

We're back

Well..."Hiney" and I made it to my doctor's appointment today. It was at 8:15 this morning (early! uugh!) and everything is all set to go next Tuesday when I go in at 6:00 in the morning to have carpal tunnel surgery. When the nurse originally told that I kind of groaned, but the truth it's really not that bad. I have to get up that early every morning to be at work by six when I am on the day shift anyway. Everything is all set except that I still have to meet with the anaestesiologist? the day of the surgery. I was supposed to meet with him today but they were too busy and I didn't get a chance to. Anyway, I'm feeling pretty good about things. I was feeling a little nervous and then realized I really don't have anything to worry about. Hiney will be there. We are still waiting to hear back about his hearing. It's been almost six weeks since we heard anything so it should be any day now, hopefully. I'm ready for this whole thing to be over.

On another note. Check outthis post. That looks like it hurt!

If I waited until the skies were clear.

I would never do anything. That's the thought that crossed my mind when my husband, "Hiney", asked me I wanted to go on drive out to the res. (to walk the dog). I told him no. My customary answer. The skies were cloudy and overcast, it looked like rain, and when the weather looks like that, I just don't want to do anything. So what do I do instead? I sit around the house and get depressed, waiting for the skies to clear. But do you know what happens when I do that? I miss out on things; on life. And isn't that sad? When I can only find joy on the sunny days instead of learning to find joy on the cloudy days, too. God gives us both, doesn't He? But can I be honest with, though? I would rather have the sunny days. Really I would.

I don't know. Maybe I'm feeling this way because of the book I balled my way through last night. Dana's Valley written by Janette Oke and cowritten by her daughter Laurel. It's written from the perspective of Dana's younger sister, Erin, who is watching her sistr die of leukemia. Absolutely heart wrenching stuff to read. I think one of the things that struck me the most about the book was something Erin's mom said when Erin made the comment that she couldn't pray because it hadn't worked, her sister was still dying. Her mom corrected her and said, "We are all dying, Erin. Life is not what we are trying to hold on to for Dana. It was never about keeping her, even though it hurts so to lose. We're praying to release her...whenever it's God's will that she go."

I visit a couple of different blogs where the little ones are
suffering They are
battling for life. Other have already lost their battle. I know that Dana's Valley is a fictional story and that the blogs I visit are nonfiction, but the two are so closely related in my mind in regards to suffering it's hard for me to separate the two. You know what else is hard for me to do? It is hard for me to read the things I read and not somehow be affected by it. To not somehow be changed by it and have my belief system in God be altered by it. AND YET!... having said all that, I KNOW that God is good, that He has a plan and that His plan is PERFECT! I know that I KNOW that I know that. Yet irregardless of all that I know, my heart still hurts for them. For the pain and the loss they are going through. I no longer feel the same way about God as I did before. I no long see Him the same way. And that's a good thing. Because you see, I NEEDED to see Him in a different way. I needed to see him the way he really is. As being good, yes, but also as being sovereign and NOT being some magic genie I can command to do my will. It is HIS will that must be done. Thank you Trish for being so honest and transparent with your struggles dealing with transplant life and yet so steadfast in your faith. You have stretched my faith. You have encouraged and inspired me. Thank you for that.

Touched

I was so touched by this post. Sometimes God speaks in a whisper, Trish. You'll need to scroll down one post, after you view the picture Trish posted of Ashley, to reach the post titled whispered Trust me, it's worth scrolling down for. Trish has been waiting for this moment for a LONG! time! Way to go Ash! We love you Trish and continue to pray for the Adams family.

Praying

for Emerson, a baby girl who just went through her second multiple organ transplant. You can go here for more information.

Check this out at http://www.inthemidstofit.blogspot.com/. It's funny.

I can't believe it!

Another Hollywood divorce. It just seems like nobody in Hollywood can stay married anymore. I haven't felt this bad since I found out that one of my favorite Christian music singers was gay. On a happier note, Ashley Adams took her first steps today with the help of her stryker. I couldn't help but shed a few tears with Trish as she related the events to us and think that as much as Trish's heart breaks over Ashley's pain of learning how to walk and deal with triple transplant life, our Father's heart breaks just as much over watching Trish take some painful steps and letting some dreams for her little girl die. Hang in there Trish. The storm will pass. You will make it to the other side. You can read it for yourself here.

So I started blogging

Not sure why, not even sure what I'm going to find to talk about, just felt led to start a blog. I guess I just want to try and impact my world in some way. I can promise you that I am not going to say the "perfect" thing all the time and speak as beautifully, eloquently, or even as Biblically (although I am a Christian and have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior)as some. I just know I have a few things I wanted to say and wanted to find some way to share it. That's all this is about. And I also wanted to find some way to practice my writing. A skill not quite developed yet:) but is currently a work in progres. As am I:)